20201009 Less than 100 days left in the year. Looking back, it was worse than 2019. I have to prepare a presentation for Monday. I haven't even started. I had lunch with AX at 11. I want to masturbate. The internet isn't working. It's cold and the sky is gray. I don't know what to do. I'll work out afterwards. Smart working has put my laziness in the spotlight. It's made my addictions obvious. I have to learn to overcome them, or at least live with them, making them as harmless as possible. I wonder if it's really enough to just have an idea and bring it to market, if it's really possible to start from scratch. The fear of failure keeps me from even starting. Just as I regret the past every moment, I have to remind myself that one day I'll think back to today. In all my best memories, I portray myself as not thinking about these dubious facts; as if I forgot them at home for a moment.