20200120 My good intentions have lasted as long as a fly. 3 days and I'd already forgotten everything. The truth is, I think, I'm simply weak and lazy and useless. Day 20 and nothing has changed. I still want to wake up at 7 and know I'm already late. I'm on the train. I wonder what it's like to fuck a girl in her fifties. I haven't fucked in a while. I thought that if I don't do exercises in the morning, I'll do them in the evening, since I don't have a damn thing to do anyway. I feel like reading something by Bukoski: Fedor is fantastic, but I'm not really in the mood. I've gotten really ugly lately. I'm in Monza, I finished an episode of Crime and Punishment and I'm listening to music. See you tomorrow, son of a bitch. Have a good day. Oh, A says to write one good and one bad thing about the day. I'll do it about the day before. The bad thing was too much wanking, the good thing was waking up: I was very rested and purposeful.