#57 of 1,000,000

20210104 That's what my mind has become: wearing blinders, with no room left for imagination. I don't know how to dream anymore. With every passing day, the future looks grayer, sadder, and lonelier. Will I move to Como? Will I live alone? How will I ever get a mortgage? Will I have a family? A wife? Kids? New, happy memories? Staying at home, cutting out social media, living in fear... Probably not. Is this really the outlook for tomorrow? Why didn't I choose university? Why couldn't I handle my past relationships? Why did I screw up with crypto? How the fuck did I end up like this? How do you actually find happiness?